| so weird |
[03 Aug 2006|12:47pm] |
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so I am babysitting right now.
I am watching Mercedes Wasil.
at Joff Orr's old house.
it seems a little different here.
Something about this house.
Maybe because I keep thinkning that Joff used to live here.
It hit me when Heather told me the password to the garage.
I look at papers here and it makes me think of Joff because it says Orr everywhere.
Its still hard.
Being here doesnt help much either.
Andros was amazing.
Beautiful people and a beautiful place.
Would go back in a heartbeat.
Too much to talk about on here.
Talk to me in person.
Dear Joff,
Its been awhile hun.
I am at your old house.
But you know that and can see it.
Its a weird feeling here bud.
Maybe cuz I might be sitting in your old room right now.
I dont know which room was yours.
But its weird.
Really weird.
It makes me miss you.
A lot.
Your amazing.
I really do miss you right now.
Cant wait to hang out with you when its my time to go.
Love you
♥ Lilli
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| deliver me from all the things I should not do |
[15 Jul 2006|11:39pm] |
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gentlemen- teddy geiger |
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I will be in Andros Island in the Bahamas for the next two weeks.
On a mission's trip.
Wish us luck and keep us in prayers.
It will be AMAZING.
Dear Joff,
Andros is on Monday.
I am a little nervous.
Watch over us buddy.
When Jesus is watching us, you can sit next to him.
I bet he shares seats really well.
Your praising him right now up there.
Thats so sweet.
Cant wait for my turn.
I wont be able to write my internet letters to you.
But I do have PAPER!
haha.
I know I know.
I am SO weird.
haha.
See you soon love.
Lilli
♥ ♥-
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| its getting better |
[14 Jul 2006|11:52pm] |
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nothing right at the moment |
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It was an alright day.
Went to work.
Came home.
Saw Pirates AGAIN.
It never gets old.
Someone called me tonight.
We talked for an hour.
Weird.
Lets see where it goes.
Thats about it.
Not much else to talk about.
Cept Andros.
This freaking Monday.
I am not prepared whatsoever!
Its ok though.
I will be.
You watch.
Dear Joff,
Today was easier.
A lot easier.
I havent cried all day.
Its finally being accepted.
You going home.
Its good to see.
Now I can focus on everything going on.
Also very good.
How's it going up there?
I know its amazing.
I miss you buddy.
You know that though.
And you know I love you very much.
Have fun babe.
Lilli
♥
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| letting myself go |
[14 Jul 2006|01:45am] |
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better |
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none its bedtime |
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so today was alright.
Watched Joff's news video all day long.
I didnt miss a single one.
It was kinda a goal you could say.
Youth group was cool.
Liked it a lot.
I just gotta say that I LOVE brittnay darby.
She is a riot.
McDonalds was cool.
On the way there, I witnessed a murder.
A hit and run if you want to be technical.
Yes, our own Thera Presley hit an armadillo.
And I ran over it too.
It was quite sad.
And also, disturbing.
I had so much fun and I dont think I have laughed that hard in my life.
Amazing people were there and I love them all.
After everyone had left, me and matty and peacock stayed.
For a long time.
We hung out untill 1:30 in the morning.
In the McDonalds parking lot.
Just talking.
About many things.
Those boys are awesome.
And they are such comforts.
They lifted me up so much.
I love them very very much and feel blessed to know them.
I hope it happens a lot more.
I need more nights like tonight.
Thank you for it boys.
Been thinking about a certain boy, who is starting to show the same qualities that EVERY other guy has shown.
Its sad really.
I honestly thought he was going to be different.
I guess he just knows how to play the game.
And well.
If someone reads this and tells me I am wrong, I would greatly appreciate it.
Now I dont want people to start talking of regrets.
I have none.
He was amazing to me, and thats all I could ever want.
Now lets see if growth can come from it.
On his part and mine.
Dear Joff,
I guess this is gonna be a daily thing.
Me writing these letters to you via internet.
I like typing better than writing.
I know it doesnt matter which.
Watched you on the news today bud.
A lot.
You looked so handsome in your pics.
I know you see the cross on Debrecan.
Its like buried in flowers.
I dont think its going down anytime soon.
I think its a place of closure for people, or heading towards that route.
We miss you.
Joff they talked about your being a christian was THE most important thing about you.
Isnt that just too cool?
I think its amazing.
Gosh, as each day passes I miss you more.
You know how I feel, Ive said it enough.
You were beautiful, inside and out.
No one will be like you.
I hope with everything I do.
For you and Jesus, brings a smile to your guy's faces.
Thats all I want.
Is for you to be proud.
And Jesus to be thrilled.
I keep thinking about what it will be like to see you again.
Its gonna be amazing.
I love you Joffrey David.
Untill tomorrow, Lilli
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| joff |
[13 Jul 2006|01:14am] |
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tonight was beautiful.
I am sure Joffrey loved every second of it.
People got saved.
They rededicated their lives.
Joff is on the news.
All over the news.
His story will capture so many lives.
Its so awesome to see.
My eyes are burning from how much I cried tonight.
The service was beautiful, from the stage to the actual service.
I miss Joffrey more and more everyday.
Gosh he was such a beautiful person.
I seem to describe everything about Joff as being beautiful because thats what he was and everything about his life was.
I wanna be just like him.
I cant wait to see him again.
He wont know what hit him when he gets my hugs.
The love will be too much.
He might fall over.
haha.
It was soo cool to see how many people Joff touched with his 18 years of being on this earth.
AMAZING.
I miss him so much.
I feel like if I keep typing I wont be able to sleep because I will keep crying.
Everyone loves you Joffrey David.
You truely were one of the most amazing people anyone has ever known.
I know you are having fun.
When I see you, like I said, you wont know what hit you.
Joff, people got saved because of you.
You said to your dad you never got to lead someone to the Lord.
Guess what?!
You did and very many at that.
No one will ever forget you or your love or hugs or smiles or lame jokes.
I find it harder and harder to think about you being away from us as each day passes.
But I gotta remember you are in Heaven and with the one person you loved the most, Jesus Christ.
I love you Joffrey David Orr.
I miss you always.
See you soon.
Your sister in Christ, Lilli ♥
♥ ♥
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| letting myself go |
[10 Jul 2006|11:41pm] |
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getting better |
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I have been thinking about Joff a lot today.
He has been on my mind for all these past few days.
I dont know what to do.
If I should cry or smile?
I know that I cry because I miss him more than anything.
And I smile because he is up in Heaven right now.
Where we all cant wait to be.
I just think of everything Joff did and said to me.
Like:
"You look prettier with your hair down, I love girls with hair down, its just.. fun"
"You.. are.. so.. weird"
"You are so mean, why are you so mean?"
"Im sorrry" while he laughed at the same time
"Chut up!"
"Where are we going to lunch, IM BROKE!"
"GET DOWN"
"what are you looking at"
one of my favs, "What is your problem?!"
haha
and all the things he did
like:
sticking his hand in my face, totally messing up my make up
pulling the hair ties out of my head
hugging me and making me feel like I was the ONLY girl in the world.
Staring at me with his Joff faces
putting me in a head lock
knocking me down at the beach
throwing sand in my face
laughing with a loud HAHA
tripping me all the time
spraying me in the face with any drink inside his straws
grabbing my hand
looking into my eyes when he talked to me, the whole time [not many guys do that]
just yelling at me
me sitting in his car just talking to him
him struting around
me grabbing his water gun and ski mask and watching him laugh his head off at my antics
his smiles
his dancing
The true memories I have of him is when he danced at football games, came to my house after he hit a sign, nearly running me off the road, blocking me on the road, him cracking up at the crazy things I did, smiling all the time, the one skit drama did where he was SUPER LOVE and he was walking around being crazy joff on stage, his random yelling sprees.
His smile just flashes through my head.
Its just that smile of his.
It got me everytime.
I never could be sad when I saw it.
Gosh I love that boy and miss him so much.
Its still not real.
This is gonna take me a long time.
He was such a wonderful human being, no one can beat him.
I could keep talking about him, but I dont think livejournal can handle it.
So I will write about him in small doses.
I love you Joffrey David Orr
I cant wait to see you
I want a hug and your headlock haha
I will see you soon buddy
Your awesome
always and forever
your friend and sister in Christ, Lilli
♥ ♥ ♥
he really and truely was God's creation on an AMAZING day!
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| R.I.P Joffrey David Orr |
[08 Jul 2006|01:18pm] |
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Joffrey, there are no words to explain how amazing you were.
I love you.
I cant wait to see you again when I finally go home.
Your amazing.
Thank you for blessing me with the chance of getting to know you.
♥
r.i.p.
you will NEVER be forgotten
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| WOW |
[22 Jun 2006|02:45am] |
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what hurts the most-rascal flatts |
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OH MY GOSH
THE HILLS WAS AMAZING TONIGHT!
someone comment and tell me what they thought.
I mean only if you saw it.
You would understand.
It reminded me a lot of what I am going through right now.
Im done
time for bed
♥
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| So dont bother I'll be fine.. |
[14 Jun 2006|10:10pm] |
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 calm |
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god above-hillsong united |
] |
got my report card today.
I passed to the 12 grade.
Yeah I feel a lot better about things now.
And I am only one credit behind.
JUST ONE!
I can take a sigh of relief for right now untill school comes back.
Was reminded that I am not allowed to go to faith next year.
Youth group wise.
At least I can still work and go on sundays and stuff!
Thats better than nothing.
Might get a new job.
Wont say anything till I get it.
But it sounds like fun.
Crosses fingers.
ugh.
I dont know what else.
Still miss having someone to call my own.
Its getting better though.
Seems like everyone I know is leaving this weekend.
My mom and brother are going to Michigan.
Wade is going to North Carolina for a week :[
Christopher is moving for good on Friday.
Aaron is leaving for five months on Tuesday.
Weird.
Ima miss these ppl.
A lot.
Good news is I might get a new camera!
So new pics!
Woot!
um I dont know what else to say.
needa call someone and then bedtime.
Night ppl.
Comment and tell me how you guys are doing?!
♥
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| updates |
[11 Jun 2006|06:18pm] |
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from the inside out-hillsong united |
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dont you just love updates evern though NO ONE checks these things anymore.
Welp
my boyfriend broke up with me.
It sucks.
I dont like it.
I get kinda bummed when I look at him cuz I know I cant treat him like my boyfriend.
I am sure God has a plan for the both of us.
I am excited to see what that is.
Not gonna lie though I am hoping it is for us to get back together.
I am at Faith with my lil brother hanging out.
Its cool.
I went to camp.
It was a good learning experience to say the least.
Cept for two whole nights I was crying myself to sleep but hey you know what?
It happens.
alright I think im done.
♥
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| I dont think I can do this |
[02 Jun 2006|10:43pm] |
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really sad |
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real world |
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so
I dont know what to say right now
Things seem to be different and I dont know why.
My life has really been sucking lately
I dont know if I am going to camp
My boyfriend is being weird
AH LIFE SUCKS
im pissed
and sad
I have been SO stressted lately and EVERYTHING has been going wrong.
I just hope it gets better soon.
I liked having a tight life with no worries.
im done
♥
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| everything he does is beautiful |
[28 May 2006|10:35pm] |
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so uh...
that last entry..
pretty much hit the nail on the head on that one..
I got into a car accident.
It sucks.
I am fine.
The car is beat up.
And I am mad because the guy who hit me, peaced out.
Never thought I would have to deal with a hit and run.
But I did.
Whatever.
Saw Wade and it made me happy and forget about the whole ordeal. ::smiles:: Ugh there is just something about that boy.
♥
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| this has been a HORRIBLE day |
[24 May 2006|05:06pm] |
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hungry from dirty dancing |
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so..
because I am such a screw up, I am going to have no life senior year. I keep thinking I will get out of it like I always do. But, it aint gonna happen. It sucks im pissed. Not only at my mom for my punishment but myself for the fact that I couldnt get my sh** together so I could just be fine with school like everyone else. I feel as though I am the only one who is scared about not graduating next year. I used to joke about it, but now it seems to be becoming more and more of a reality as time goes by. I am sick and tired of freaking out about school and wondering where my life will be going and if I am gonna make it. I mean good grief its my summer vacation and I am only 16 years old, I should be having fun and not worrying about that crap. So yeah that entire situation sucks and has been taking over my mind everyday. I cant seem to focus on anything anymore but that.
Today has been a horrible day. All I have been able to do is point out my faults and what sucks about me and what I wanna change. There is a lot.
A long time ago I typed up this thing on my computer and was gonna put it on here but didnt because it was too personal and I didnt want EVERYONE and their mom reading it so I just kept it on my computer. Welp, I have been looking at it all day and I realized that all the bs I typed that I wanted to change, never did. What does that say about me? I just dont know. I hate it when I am SOOO freaking happy and I feel like nothing can go wrong in my life, it does. And I am brought down so heavily.
I have bad self esteem issues? Has anyone noticed?
On a good note, I talked to an old friend yesterday. Made me smile. Good to know everything is fine, for sure. Me and my boyfriend are doing good. He is a great guy. <3
alright I am done. I feel much better
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| There is only us, there is only this |
[29 Apr 2006|11:01pm] |
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I miss my boyfriend a lot |
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So I surprised my boyfriend today. He was surprised and "stoked" as he told me. Always good.
Went to BG that was a good time. I love all my friends. But, not the type of ppl that are dont even talk to me but yet feel the need to go to my youth pastor and say things that they dont even know and have no backing on.
Whatever they can be gay its nothing I care about too much. All I know is I am happy, extremely happy, and if someone wants to ruin that, good luck you aint gonna get anywhere with it.
Thats about it
Church tomorrow, should be good.
Its Faith Baptist on Fruitville, past the interstate and its on your left. Its big you cant miss it.
Be there at 10! Thats when the service starts. Or, you can go to the like service thingy at night at 6 I believe. It rocks, you should be there!
Alright I am done
♥ ♥
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| life is good again.. |
[14 Apr 2006|11:50pm] |
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 so happy |
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none its bedtime |
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so I worked on the whole school thing and my mom let me go back to faith so yay!
my best friend is Michelle Marie Monica Myers.
I have an amazing boyfriend named Wade.
God has blessed me so much in my life and I love him and thank him for it all every single day and night.
Thats about it.
I hope everyone is good.
♥
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| so much to deal with today.. |
[14 Mar 2006|11:08pm] |
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sad |
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none I can barely even think.. |
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ok so..
here is my life update.
I got into one of the biggest fights with my mom today.. and this is the outcome.
1. I am not allowed to step foot on the Faith Baptist campus for 2 months.
2. I am not allowed to speak to anyone from Faith Baptist for 2 months.
3. If I get caught hanging out with ANYONE from Faith Baptist my mom will make my sentence longer.
Which means,
I have to stop work, quit drama, and leave all the ppl I love. I cant go to Disciple Now and I am grounded for Spring break. So, while everyone is out at the beach, Im going to be inside almost the whole time.
Well, at least this time will allow me to focus on my relationship with God more. I still wish that I coulod see my friends.
and thats about it..
any questions, wait till I am online and then ask them or message me on myspace or comment here. Whatever works.
If you are a faith kid..
careful cuz I dont wanna make my mom even more mad.
but yeah how is everyone else? Good? Thats awesome.
♥
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[01 Feb 2006|08:07pm] |
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so..
I have been sick since DC but this week it really kicked my butt.
Other than that my life rocks!
I couldnt be happier!
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| lives totally rules! |
[18 Jan 2006|09:59pm] |
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I feel a little ill.. |
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DC THIS FRIDAY!
WOOT WOOT!!
PEACE OUT SRQ!
♥ ♥ ♥
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| Everyday its YOU I live for.. |
[13 Jan 2006|09:31pm] |
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 thankful |
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none but there are commercials on the t.v. |
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Passion of the Christ tonight.
I loved it.
Cried like a baby again.
I am really blessed to know that my Savior did all that for me. I truely am so thankful for him. He is amazing and I will always love him with everything I have. I walked out of the room where we watched to movie and I was silent. I truely felt like God was with me, I felt his presence. Oh man what a great Father I have in him. Its just all so amazing.
I mean anyone who doesnt know him, please give him a chance. You truely dont know love untill you find Jesus. If ANYONE has any questions, I will try my ultimate best to answer your questions and talk about it.
Thank you Molly and Omar and everyone who was involved in planning tonight. You guys did wonderful and ya'll are such encouragements for me. You guys are awesome!
Alright well smaller things,
Life has been absolutely amazing with me.
Youth group was awesome last night. Helped me tons with salvation and understanding it all.
DC trip coming and I am very very very excited! I found out that we will get to witness in the streets. Thats so exciting! I can not wait I am so happy for this chance! 7 days till the trip! AH!
But yeah I believe that is all on me.
Anything ppl wanna talk about, I am here!
Love you all!
♥
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